


Like to be you

by PeggyCarters



Category: The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: F/M, Shefani - Freeform, TheVoice, kindaau, notalotthough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-06-22 06:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeggyCarters/pseuds/PeggyCarters
Summary: They were good at talking and sharing emotions about heartbreak but when it comes to building their hearts up again they found themselves lost without a map to take them home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> It's been a while, I'm so sorry. I don't have a lot of time to write lately and on top of that I'm very stuck on Best of You, a story I thought I knew where it was going. Apparently I don't. I'm not giving it up, just a small hiatus. 
> 
> This is not going to be very long but it's an idea I got from Shawn Mendes and Julia Michael's Like To Be You 
> 
>  
> 
> To Marwa, thanks for listening to all my crazy sinopsis and helping me out.

 

Her head falls on the pillow as he giggles somewhere between her chest and her arm making goosebumps appear on her skin and her heart contract and then expand on her upper body. Her cheeks hurt good from laughing and even though she’s tired and everything she wants to do is sleep forever, he is here and when they’re together, sleep is overrated.

The way his stubble graciously grazes her body makes her skin tingle and a big desire to just roll them over and let their worries fall behind.

“Gwen,” she hears his voice and the spot on her skin covered by his mouth burns up. “You’re amazing.”

At the beginning there really weren’t words, just pleasure, lots of pleasure. And, one day, he fell asleep after their frantic sex making to wake up the morning after with her head on his chest and her breath beautifully grazing his chest hair. They hadn’t agreed to any rules but since the first time he had never stayed after sex, so he just assumed she wanted out on her bed, and her house, right after the incredible high.

Her breath catches on her throat when he speaks out his thoughts on her. She’s quiet for some seconds as she tries to come up with something to say back. She now realises that she has never been the best person to receive compliments, she just never knows what to say back other than thank you. Truth is, nowadays she only feels amazing when he is around.

“You make me feel like that.” She admits out loud, and now, that’s a first.

“Same.” He replies falling back on his side of the bed; and she calls it his side because no one else has occupied the vacant space of her brand new mattress since she’s been single.

Silence takes over them as they both stare at the ceiling lost in thoughts. She wonders if today he’s going to stay. She wants to ask him, tell him that he can lay down and fall asleep beside her every damn night if he wishes. She wants to tell him so much but is scared so she just stays quiet and brings her hand up to her face as she lets out a deep sigh.

“I’m going to go.” She regrets showing off her tired state when he speaks up.

“No, I-“

“It’s been a long week.”

She chuckles, “Blake, it’s only Wednesday.” She says admiring his bare back as he sits on the edge of the bed, facing away from her.

“Dammit, that’s right. The Lives are just a lot it feels like it’s Friday.” He peeks a look at her from above his shoulder right after he slips into his boxers. He stands up and lets a hand run through his ruffled bed hair as he stands on his toes for a second to stretch his body.

On the bed, Gwen props herself up on one elbow and just watches him. She loves to watch him, his big and sometimes clumsy frame weirdly fits in her bedroom, in her white and very modern space, Blake, a boots and plaid wearing guy fits like a ring on her finger. She giggles and then he turns around adjusting the elastic band on his underwear. “What?” He asks curiously.

“Nothing.” She shakes her head as she looks down to spot his white undershirt on the floor. Without giving it a second thought she puts it on while he watches her. He thinks about maybe saying something but when she lets the fabric fall on her naked body he just lets it go. He likes the fact that she, without second thoughts, is comfortable around him enough to not ask for permission.

It’s the tenth time they sleep together, yes he’s been counting, and he has no regrets whatsoever. He vaguely remembers kissing her the first time because they got drunk on Tequila leaning against the back of one of her sofas after a long day at The Voice. So now, each time they kiss he doesn’t take it for granted and saves it in a little box inside his brain. Their kisses are always hungry and urgent. They don’t feel, they just jump and dive in together. No questions, no intense staring, no cuddling, no hard feelings. Not even a kiss goodbye.

There’s something about the way she’s looking at him today, though. She’s staring, she’s nervous and giggly and so very beautiful. That last is an always. She’s drop dead gorgeous, so he lets her know as he buttons his jeans and she sits, leaning her back against the headboard.

“You’re beautiful.” It slips out of his mouth like a simple hello and for a moment she seems lost but then she nods and hides a smile as she looks down. “You are.” He repeats, “Like a lot.”

 _Hot_. He had told her that a million times, and even though she knows she’s in a good shape, it’s always uplifting to hear him say it.

“Thanks.” She replies shyly as she puts a strand of hair behind her ear. When she looks back up she finds his eyes on her. He hasn’t moved, he’s still standing by the end of her bed, in his jeans and bare chest. She kinds of wants to pull him back to bed and just lay on him all night. That bare chest looks like a great pillow. “You don’t have to go.”

He gulps, “I have an early flight tomorrow.”

Right, he’s going to Oklahoma for the rest of the week, that’s why he filmed rehearsals this morning. “And you should get some sleep.”

“Yeah.” He looks around for his shirt but then he remembers their first round on the kitchen counter. “Yeah, it’s downstairs.”

Blake chuckles and then shrugs funnily as he touches his pockets to make sure he has his phone and keys. “You stay here. No need to walk me out.” She doesn’t hide the disappointment good enough but she just nods and brings the sheets up to her neck. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

 _I guess_ hurts. It breaks her heart to pieces because she doesn’t want him to go. They’ve been putting up the conversation for way too long.

“Yeah.”

He nods and then makes his way to the door. He opens it and then looks at her one last time. He presses his lips together and then lets his guards down as he walks back to her and leans down to press his lips to hers briefly and taking her completely by surprise.

“Thank you.” He murmurs before leaning away.

“For what?” She asks as he looks down at her.

“For being you.”

With that he walks out the room leaving her hanging.

 _What?_ She wants to run downstairs and stop him from walking out, but soon enough she hears the front door shut and like that he’s gone again.

  
  


When they see each other again is Monday morning to film a sketch for the show. He walks in the common room in his singular jeans and cowboy boots but this time his white shirt is tucked in and a vest that frames his torso in all the right places. Gwen wants to wrap her arms around him and at the same time drag him, ever so seductive, up the stairs of his, or her, trailer and unbutton all the small buttons of his shirt and vest and kiss, and even leave some small marks, on his broad and very appealing chest.

“Hi Gwen.” His voice is soft and gentle like always, the dimples appear on his face when she looks up to meet his eyes and she immediately draws a smile on her face as well.

“Hi.” She can feel her nerves start to appear again and she wonders why she’s insecure. _It’s just Blake_. She tells herself.

“You okay?” She nods, afraid to speak and mess up. “Sure?” She nods again. “Well, okay.” He bounces on his feet and slips his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. “You look great.”

She tilts her head down to her red mid-length dress and then looks back up at him.

“Thanks. You do too.” She tears her eyes away from him again and his smile fades.

“Listen, I,”

“Blake-“

A nervous giggle escapes her mouth and Blake’s dimples appear on his cheeks once again. It’s ridiculous how much she has missed his beautiful face in the past few days. “You first.” He says smiling down at her as he fidgets with his hands behind his back.

“I... Nothing, just happy to see you.” She suddenly shies away and once again tears her eyes away from him.

“Oh- yeah, same.”

 _Missed you._ That’s what she wants to say but she doesn’t have the strength to put her heart out and feelings in the open like that. She doesn’t know if she is ready for it either. And mostly, she doesn’t want to scare him away. Even if it’s just mare fun and pleasure, Blake has been the only constant in her life for the past three months, and even more in the last three weeks and the ten times they’ve slept together. She’s been counting, but no one else apart from her needs to know that.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks again, this time even in a softer tone.

“Tired. Three boys are hard to handle.” She explains.

That’s right. It’s not that he forgets about the fact that she is a mum, but he has never really seen her in mum mode apart from the times her energetic boys have visited the set.

“I can imagine. I get tired with Betty.” She laughs at that and tilts her head slightly back.

“She’s at your mum’s now, no?”

“She is.”

“Whenever you bring her to LA, I wanna meet her.”

“My mum?”

Gwen suddenly freezes and then stamers a bit, “I- well, sure I’d... I meant Betty, but if you’re mum is ever around, sure.”

There is something oddly comforting about her words, he presses his lips together and then nods, “You know, you complete my top three girls list, actually four, because I do have a sister.”

“Top girls list?” She asks confused.

“My mum, my sister, you and Betty.”

“Oh, well, I'm- glad.”

He braves up then and brings a hand up to caress her cheek with his thumb as she looks down to their feet and her short blonde hair falls softly grazing his hand. “Hey.”

“Blake- not...” She nervously bites the inside of her cheek. “Not here.”

That’s a rule. No touching outside of either of their bedrooms, he knows and had accepted that rule, and if she is not mistaken, this is the first time he has broken that rule.

“I’m just saying hello, Gwen.”

“No, you are not.” His hand is still on her cheek and she really wants to step away but since he left her bedroom last Wednesday, she’s craving and mostly missing his touch. “Later. Please.” She almost begs and finally, even with the confusion on his face, he steps away.

He doesn’t say anything, he just leaves to his trailer without muttering another word.

  


It’s weird for the first few minutes they shoot the sketch. They’re both tense and Adam has to be the one to jump on them and put their hands around both, standing in the middle. “Come on you guys! I know it’s early but this is super fun!” He jumps away like a five year old on a sugar rush and Blake turns his face to find her eyes already on him.

“Adam.” He rolls his eyes and smiles a little.

“He is great.” Gwen adds almost as a whisper.

“Yes, he is.” He fidgets with his hands as they start to walk again. “You look really pretty, you know?” She takes a deep breath and tilts her head down, “Adam tells you look pretty and you graciously smile at him. I say you look pretty and you can’t even meet my eyes. What is wrong, Gwen?”

“If you say it I believe it and I really don’t-“

“Don’t look away...” He says when he sees her head begin to tilt down.

“I don’t- I don’t like myself,”

“What?” His eyebrows furrow and his mouth hangs slightly open at her honest comment.

“Blake, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why this insecurity all of a sudden? What happened?” He takes a step closer to her, “What did that bastard say to you now?” She is taken aback by the steady tone of his voice and the determination of his statement. Her mind goes back to them on her couch, talking and crying about their broken marriages, and some part of her just now recalls that before being her lover, her escape from the world, he was her friend. Her shoulder to cry on; her partner in crime. The only one who understood.

They put that aside for mare pleasure; not that they talked about it, but one day it was all about pouring their heart out at each other, and the next all about not talking, or rather talking with their hands and not so soft moans.

“Don’t leave.” He murmurs reaching out to catch her pinky finger before she has time to run and hide. “Please. Just talk to me.”

“He didn't-“

“Lie to whoever you want, but please, _please_ , not to me.”

“He is right.” She whispers out almost in an exhausted tone.

“No, he is not.”

“You don’t even know what he said.” She fixes her eyes on him even if she’d rather run away.

“Whatever he said, he is wrong. He never knew you, he thought he did but he didn’t see you. You’re more than what he thinks, what he says...”

“Stop.”

“No, Gwen. You _stop_. I don’t know why you let his shit affect you. You don’t have to listen to him anymore.” He never meant to make her cry, but a tears breaks free down her cheek and Blake feels his hands slightly tremble on his sides. “I’m sorry, please just don’t-“

“You think you know me.” She takes a deep breath and tries to recompose herself and looks back up to his eyes, oh so beautiful blue eyes. “You don’t.”

“I think I do.” He tries to lighten up the mood with a cheeky grin on his face but her face changes completely to a straight look.

“You know what Blake? Screw you, and no, not that kind. Leave me alone.” She walks away wishing he would call out for her to stop. But that movie like scene never comes.


	2. Like that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I disappeared on you guys, I know. 
> 
> So sorry about that, but here's a new chapter to make up for my absence :)

The day at The Voice carries on in a weird atmosphere. Adam and Pharrell notice that something is wrong in both of their friends but they don’t dare to ask and treat it like another divorce related coping mechanism. Blake tries to be his charming and funny self but even that doesn’t work out well; he cannot find words to mess with Adam or gracefully tease Gwen either.

 

Once filming is over, he goes back to his trailer and lets his body fall on the couch and closes his eyes as he rests his head on the soft surface. He lets the quietness of the place take over him and before he knows it he doesn’t fight back and falls asleep.

 

A few hours later he jolts awake not remembering where he is. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light coming from the lamp on the side of the sofa and when he realises where he is he lets out a huge sigh and rests his back against the soft surface of his couch again.

He needs to stop taking 3 hour naps in his trailer. He had stopped doing that when Gwen and him had started to hang out. At the beginning of the tappings, and after he had announced his divorce to his workmates, Blake sometimes went home with Adam or hanged out with him. He lived with Adam and Behati for two months, and when he realised that it was time to leave and let them be, Blake got a rental for himself, thanked his friends and decided to start to get his life together.

That bravery act worked for a week, because the next Monday he said goodbye to his friend on the parking lot, saying that there was no need to drive him home, _I already asked for an Uber,_ but in reality he crawled back to his trailer and fell asleep there. He didn’t have the urge to drink himself to sleep on his trailer, but he did at home, so at least he felt better about himself if he crashed on his couch for a couple of hours before, for real, getting an Uber home where, everyday, he fell asleep alone, but never fully rested.

 

The reason why he started to not crash on his trailer was mad at him and he didn’t know why. Gwen had found him sneaking out of the set one night and that day she had admitted to hiding in her trailer, because she didn’t want to go to an empty house either. She had opened up to him at the hall, where they had talked and talked until the sun had started peeking through the glass doors.

 

Sleeping with her had come later on. First they had been each other’s shoulders to cry on, the friend they had been wanting to have, someone who wouldn’t say _I’m sorry,_ someone who instead would say _I know this shit, it sucks._ Someone who was as miserable.

 

Getting drunk on Tequila hadn’t been his greatest moment. Nor had hers. _I don’t_ _really drink, Blake._ He had drawn a smile on his face and poured her a drink. _Tonight, you are._

She had kissed him first. He has that amazing moment in a box inside his head. He will always remember how soft and nearly shy her lips had felt over his. He had been too scared to touch her, partially because of the dizziness the alcohol was starting to cause, but also because he was afraid to move and wake up from such a dream-like moment. But, no. It was real. Real much that Gwen bit down on his lower lip and it hurt the right amount to bring him back to earth and kiss her back.  

 

It was confusing but it felt good. So good that since then they had slept together ten times.

  
  


Opening his eyes again, he looks around the trailer and his eyes fall on the clock on the wall, 11 o’clock. He sighs and then reaches for his phone inside his jean pocket. No messages. It hurts a little bit that Gwen hasn’t reached out to him but then he recalls the weird day they had and how she had told him to go screw himself. _Right_.

Not right.

He stands up and stretches a bit before walking down the stairs as he gets an Uber.

 

About thirty minutes later, he’s standing in front of the metal door of her house. He is afraid to press the button, but he feels like he has to make things right so he goes ahead.

  


“I told you to leave me alone.” She doesn’t sound happy, but at least she answers, if she fully didn’t want to see him, she would have ignored.

“I come in peace.” Blake puts his hands up in surrender.

She chuckles ironically, “Right” and then rolls her eyes.

“I have a shoulder to cry on and the mexican delivery on speed dial.” He says quietly and he watches as she freezes.

 

He had spoken those same words so many times. It was his _it’s okay, you can talk to me, you can break on me._ Not that they had met many times after work, mostly they would swap divorce stories on their trailers once everybody left. But they had hanged out a few times in his place and some others on hers.

 

“Don’t say that.” She breaks the silence as she keeps her eyes on his.

“I have a shoulder to cry on and mex-“

“Blake...” she shakes her head slightly.

“My name.” She lets out a small chuckle at his attempt to break the awkwardness. “Tell me what happened.”

“I thought we didn’t do that anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Talk.”

“Who says we cannot do both?” He takes one step ahead but Gwen moves back.

“I don’t even know if I want to do any.” She looks down as if she were tired and then sighs as Blake waits for her to say something more. But she doesn’t.

 

“I think you’re beautiful.” He says when she keeps her head down, avoiding his eyes. “Seriously, Gwen, you’re a dream. So far out of anybody’s league, yet the most normal person I have ever met.”

“I...”

“Don’t listen to him.” Her eyes are fixed on his for a few seconds as the silence surrounds them, “You don’t have to. Not anymore.”

“It’s hard,” she whispers.

“It really isn’t. Just don’t give a shit. He doesn’t deserve your ti-“

“He is the father of my kids.” She cuts him off abruptly, “He’s always going to be there.”

“Not if-“

“Don’t talk about something you have no saying about.”

His mouth hangs a little open and then bites down his lower lip to keep him from saying something he will regret.

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me.” He spins on his feet and takes a couple of steps before he turns his head over his shoulder to look at her one last time. “I’m off to Oklahoma tomorrow.”

  
  


He leaves for a week in which she doesn’t get any sign of life from him. He tries really hard to not give in and just text her _hello_. He pulls through, he even forgets about her for a while.

 

He is back in LA sooner than he would like to, but the lives demand him to be in the city more constantly, and if he’s honest with himself, he was getting bored all alone at the ranch. When his Uber arrives to set the first thing his eyes fall onto is her car. _Damn it._ Just like that she is back occupying his mind.

 

He sees her talking to one of the PA in the hall. The young man is making her laugh and some kind of jealousy runs through his veins as she leans in just a little bit and rests her hand on the guy’s arm. He rolls his eyes when the guy’s eyebrows shoot up. _Yep, been there buddy_. He thinks as he lets out a little chuckle.

“Hey, Blake.” He hears the PA’s voice as he was starting to make his way to the lounge area.

“Morning.” He replies with his hand on the door he was about to open, “Hey, Gwen.”

“Hi.”

Well, he got a _hello_. That’s something.

“See you both around.” He says before he opens the door and leaves the hall, and Gwen mostly, behind him.

 

There’s a knock on his trailer door and he prays to god it’s Adam to cheer him up. _Please, please, please._

He reaches for the handle and slowly opens the door to find Gwen at the other side.

“Can I come in?”

“I don’t know.” He replies.

“Blake.”

“Gwen.” He shots back, “I’m really not in the mood right now.”

“Ah nice, not in the mood to see me.”

“No, I-“ he tries to explain himself but she cuts him off before he has the time to find the right words to say.

“I understand you don’t want to see me.” She begins quietly as Blake looks down at her, “I’m sorry. I was out of line on Friday. I just want to apologise.”

“Apology accepted.” He tilts his head down and watches his boots until her soft voice breaks the silence some seconds later.

“Why are we weird all of a sudden?” She asks climbing one step. “Are we okay?”

“Which we?” He looks up to meet her chocolate eyes, “the we that eats mexican or the we that gets tangled in sheets?” He speaks a little too loud.

“Blake-“ she tries to stop him but he continues.

“Because honestly Gwen, I don’t know which _we_ we are anymore. Or if there’s even one.” He explains a little bit quieter.

“Right...” she huffs out as she lowers her head and walks back the stair she had climbed barely a minute before.

“No, Gwen, I mean-“

“It’s okay.” She sucks in a breath. _It’s not okay_ , both know that.

“Don’t run.”

“Don’t make me want to.”

 

He doesn’t stop her when she turns around and disappears down the hall.

  
  


The first run of lives is three hours away and Gwen hasn’t seen him since the morning, when she had walked out on him. Carson's hosts a small meeting just some time before going live and Blake is there, he is just not looking at her. And he doesn’t for the rest of the night, at least not willingly. He jokes with her when the cameras are rolling, but on the commercial break he doesn’t move from his chair. Normally he would stand up and make the crowd, Adam or her, laugh. But today he’s the complete opposite.

  


She wants to ask him for two minutes once the night is over. She tries to get changed fast but when she steps out of her trailer and takes a look at his, she sees the lights off.

“He was weird today, huh?” Adam’s voice brings her back to earth as her head twists to the right to see him walk up to her trailer. “I hope Miranda is not bothering him. I thought he was _waaaay_  over that by now.” Gwen presses her lips together and shrugs. “Maybe I should go to his place and check on him.” Gwen doesn’t know if Adam is waiting for a reply or not but Gwen steps in.

“I can do that. It’s on my way home anyway.”

“You’d do that?” Adam seems almost surprised by her statement.

The No Doubt front woman nods, “Sure, why not?”

Her colleague nods not too convinced, “okay. Text me if anything happens. He is my bro.”

That makes Gwen let out a little giggle as she climbs down the stairs. “See tomorrow.”

  


It takes her about twenty minutes to reach his place and another ten to gather the strength and determination to walk up to the front door. But she does and when the white surface swings open she almost wants to laugh at the confusion on his face. She takes just a moment to look at him. A white shirt is gently hugging him in all the right places and she almost chuckles when her eyes land on his boxers. He dresses like that when he is alone at home. She knows that because he knows how he acts when he gets back home after work. She knows him well at night time.

 

She doesn’t expect it when he takes a step forward and pulls her into him in a gentle yet needy move that has her melting against him like ice-cream on a spoon.

 

She was determined to talk to him, ask what the hell was going on but this thing they have is stronger than her. When his lips meet hers she wants to pull him away, tell him that they _need_ to talk, but she believes he has casted a spell on her whenever he kisses her. She completely forgets about everything else, she just can think of him and all the things she wants to do with and _to_ him. She doesn’t know how it happens but suddenly, and in a very fast, yet gentle move, the front door closes and her back softly collides against it making her bring one of her legs up to feel his bulge on her lower abdomen.

“Bl-“ she tries to speak but he kisses away the rest of his name, making a grin appear on her face. The sensation of their clothed bodies moving against each other makes him groan as Gwen’s head rests against the flat surface of his house door. “Just-, _Please_.” She is not too proud to beg but she needs him, and she doesn’t have the patience to wait.

He lets out a silent laugh and kisses her nose playfully as he grinds against her again. He keeps his eyes on hers and he proudly smiles when her eyes close forcefully and her mouth hangs open letting out a not so soft moan.

“I want you like this.”

“But Bl-“

“Gwen-“ their eyelashes almost brush when their eyes meet in the dimmed hall. “Let go. You look-“

“Shh-“ she doesn’t believe him, she’s not ready to believe him.

“So gorgeous. All the time. Now more.” His breathing is erratic as he moves against her and gets ahold of one of her legs to bring it up to his side.

 

 

He keeps her up against the door as her head falls on his shoulder and she breathes in and out deeply against his clothed body. “Jesus...”

“Blake, actually.” She lets out a laugh at his joke. She feels his head bend to rest on her neck and she feels her blood inside of her because this intimacy is new but she welcomes it with open arms. “Are you okay?” She nods.

“Are you?”

Blake lets out a giggle, “I really can’t complain about my life right now.” Their heads are still hidden on each other’s necks, so he doesn’t see her, but Gwen bites down her lower lip.

“But are you?” She asks.

“Gwen-“ he moves away to take a look at her but she is determined to keep her face hidden on his shoulder. “Look at me, please.” It takes her a few seconds but she looks up to meet his baby blues. “I’m okay. I’m great.” His dimples carve on his skin.

“I don’t mean now, I mean in general.” His smile fades away. “I’m sorry, you know?”

“For what?” He takes half a step back and closes his eyes.

“For being scared,” She begins as she pulls her hair up in a messy bun, “complicated,” she runs her hands down her shirt and tugs the front part inside her leggings, letting the back hang off, “quiet and unconfident. For pushing you away and not wanting to listen to your compliments.”

“G-”

She shakes her head, “I just don’t know how to-” she takes a deep breath and puts her hands on her hips, “I don’t do well with compliments.”

“Tha-” he tries again, because how can she not? He doesn’t understand.

“Not when they come from someone that I know means them.”

“Adam means them as well and you seem to believe him.” He succeeds to speak his thoughts.

“It’s different. You are… _you_ and I-”

“What did Gavin say to you?”

 

She turns around to face the door as Blake waits expectantly. He takes his time to study her; how she breathes in and out slowly and then massages her temple before she starts to speak.

“No one will want you.” It comes out as whisper as Gwen huffs almost exhausted. “Forty-seven and looking like _that_?” She emphasises on the last word and her voice breaks a little.

The words hurt him like bullets and he has the urge to take the few steps separating them and take her in his arms and build her heart up again.

 

She brings her hand up to her cheek as the other lands on the white surface of the door to keep her up. “I can see you want me, Blake. I see it in your eyes but then you voice your thoughts of me and I can’t-” His hand comes around her waist and she relaxes against his frame, “I don’t know how to shut his voice off of my head. I want to but I just-”

“Looking like _that._ ” She turns around and tilts her head up to meet his eyes when he repeats her words but in a completely different tone. He is biting down his lip and his eyebrows are raised as he shamelessly stares at her. “He is clearly blind. Because you look like _that_ as in hot damn!” She knows he is being completely honest, she can see it in his eyes. He is just not saying the words to make her feel good, he really is voicing his thought. His intense stare and charming smile is basically undressing her, and it's making all the butterflies appear in her stomach. The teenage-y feeling makes a giggle escape her mouth, which she immediately tries to hide. “Don’t. I _love_ it when you giggle. Giggle more, smile more, cry more if you want to, but don’t hide it from me, because honestly Gwen, all I want is for you to _finally_ be you. No limitations, no more thinking _I shouldn’t say that because he will think I’m stupid._ No more. Be giggly, be bubbly, be emotional, I want it all. I like it all. Be _you_.”

**Author's Note:**

> There's more to come. Thoughts?


End file.
